Seriously, would you? We often beat ourselves up for not getting enough done or sleeping too much or emotional eating or not doing enough for someone else or being angry with someone. We need to rethink this judgement- if we are tired or unmotivated, feeling guilty or angry, or struggling with emotional eating, we have legitimate needs that are not being met.
If you are tired all the time—you need rest. Simple, right? But many of us try to keep going despite being tired and we criticize ourselves for being tired too. And we don’t have to be doing a lot of physical activity to be tired—stress and anxiety are very tiring to our physical body. Being tired all the time or sleeping too much can also be a sign of depression.
If you’re eating too much (sweets, or just too much)—you have a need for comfort of some kind, and you’re trying to get that comfort from food. And eating sweets or fatty foods does make our brains happy because we’re made that way! Unfortunately you then probably beat yourself up for over-eating so the comfort doesn’t last very long. You can find a better way to get the nurturing that you need.
If you feel guilty all the time—you are doing what we call in my business “shoulding” on yourself.
You may be trying to change something (or someone) that you can’t change. Or you may be feeling responsible for fixing a problem that is not yours to fix. Recognize that you may be stretched too thin or have unrealistic expectations for yourself. Show yourself some compassion, at least as much as you show to other people (which is probably a lot).
If you’re angry —something is wrong and your anger is telling you to fix it. Maybe someone is taking advantage of you or you’re feeling unappreciated. You’re not a bad person for feeling angry, you just have a need that is not being met and anger is alerting you to it. Figure out what your need is and then think about how to get it met.
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