Have you ever been told that you got upset for “no reason”? Maybe you have even said that to yourself. I know someone who gets angry when she finds that her husband has put something away in the wrong place in the kitchen. It might seem like she’s upset over nothing right? Some people might tell her to just be happy that he put something away at all!
But she’s not upset over where stuff is, she upset because she thinks he is not listening to her. Wanting our partner to listen to us is not “nothing”, it’s actually pretty important. And she feels disrespected because she wastes time looking for something that’s not in the right place. Feeling respected by our partner is also pretty important. So now instead of just complaining about where he puts things, she can talk with him about WHY it’s important to her for him to put things in a particular place.
People don’t get upset for no reason. If the issue seems petty, then we need to look a little deeper and ask ourselves what we’re thinking about this situation. What is the meaning behind this issue? Once we realize what the issue REALLY is, we can figure out how to fix it.
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