Self Compassion

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” –Dalai Lama

How wise! Many of my clients have no problem finding compassion for others. They are repeatedly, several times a day, showing compassion for others in big and small ways-drying a child’s tears, letting someone else go first, cleaning up after someone, tolerating another person’s unkind words. But what does the second sentence mean? These same clients who show others compassion are often not happy when they first come to see me. The reason is that the compassion in the second sentence is referring to compassion for OURSELVES. They have never thought about showing themselves compassion and it can feel uncomfortable to think about doing this. We have often been taught to be good to others but that it is selfish to show ourselves consideration. But showing compassion for yourself is just feeling okay about being less than perfect, cutting yourself some slack. It is thinking about our mistakes as a good effort and an important lesson, rather than as a failure. It is taking care of our physical body. And it is appreciating the good things about ourselves by thinking more about them than the negative things.