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Writer's pictureLori Willis LPC, RN, CHC

How to Get Your Husband To Do the Dishes

The person who feels appreciated will always do more than what is expected.

---Amy Rees Anderson


If you want your partner to do more of something-wash the dishes, pick up their socks from the floor, massage you right there- praise them for it.


We often get into the habit of commenting only when something is wrong and when it’s right, we don’t say anything. Sometimes past hurts or feeling unappreciated by our partner can keep us from saying these things. We may think, “why should I praise him/her when he/she doesn’t appreciate me?!”. It is tough to give your partner appreciation when you feel you are not being appreciated by them, but It could be that your partner is stuck in those same kind of feelings. If you start to express appreciation for something your partner does well, they may start to express appreciation back. Someone has to make the first move—try it.


Here are some tips and tricks for expressing appreciation to your partner--

· Express appreciation for things your partner actually does right—don’t’ make up something to praise.

· The praise shouldn’t sound excessive or phony.

· Express appreciation for a chore your partner does-you don’t have to wait for your partner to do some grand gesture.

· Be as specific as you can—it’s a lot more powerful. “Thank you for checking the air in my tires--I feel a lot safer.” is more effective than just “thanks”.


Here are some more phrases you could use—

· Thank you for doing that.

· That really helped me when you did ______.

· I noticed how you _______________.

· I like how you ____________________.

· Wow, you’ve really worked hard!

· That was very generous/thoughtful/considerate of you.


When couples are stuck in a cycle of negativity, it is a serious sign that their relationship is in trouble.

If you find your relationship stuck in negativity, or you can’t bring yourself to say something appreciative to your partner, give me a call-I’d like to help.


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