I went to a funeral recently, and I noticed something interesting-the people there were all grieving, but they looked very different from one another. Some people were chatting with others, almost as if this wasn’t a funeral at all. Some were sitting quietly, some were viewing the body of the deceased, some were crying, some were even laughing. But they were all grieving.
Grieving clients will sometimes talk about feeling guilty for laughing or finding something funny. They might feel guilty because maybe they didn’t think of their loved one for a whole day. They might feel guilty for having fun. They might wonder why they don’t act like other people who are grieving the same loss. They might feel overwhelmed by sadness and wonder why others don’t seem to be feeling the same way. They can even start to feel very lonely if their grief doesn’t look like someone else’s.
I ask them, “So what does the manual say about how you should act when you’re grieving?”. Then of course they tell me there is no manual and I agree—this means there is no one right way to feel or act when you’re grieving.
So if you are grieving, you're probably doing it exactly right. But if you're feeling overwhelmed with grief, or just that something seems wrong, seek out help from a licensed counselor.
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